I’m not sure what I want to convey in this thread – maybe a lot to do about nothing – but something’s niggling at me and I have to work it out the writing way. I’m going to back up a little bit and preface this entry by admitting that while I am good at leading folks, I often find myself doing it because nobody else will step up. That in itself presents a troubling situation, as the project that nobody wants is also usually difficult. There is also an added element that the leader wants the change to happen and possesses the tolerance, passion and fortitude to push through the resistance. As for specifics and how all of this involves me, I think this is about the roles people play when change occurs. Finding it within myself personally to accept that no matter how responsibly one acts, there will be those who disagree is my main challenge. Tolerating these negative reactions can be uncomfortable and ugly. When disturbing the system, one must be ready for intense resistance. Being ready for it, what does this mean? In one situation it meant being able to take insults spoken about me in public with my friends and colleagues listening. In another, it meant asking for help from a strong advocate to assist me during disagreements wherein I had lost a key element of perspective. In yet another, it resulted in more insults and lies being shared in anobvious snub. How do these people sleep at night? More to the point, it took a considerable amount of self talk to not take being insulted personally and throw in the towel on the entire project.
I did persevere, though I didn’t walk away with what I thought was an acceptable compromise. There was one positive part, though, I and others also pushing for the change in the situation were rewarded with validation that the goals were worth the effort by individuals whom I respect and value. Do I want to pay back the individuals who have insulted me? I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit it, and I am hoping that one day those lies will one day fade in time and in intensity and folks will know the lies were meant to be a distraction from the lack of effort and due diligence of the accuser. What have I learned from the recent situation? Let’s see, now …when others refuse to accept change, it’s usually because they fear it. It is the fear, not the actual result which makes people resist it. It is taking the risk, not knowing the outcome, and pushing ahead anyway that is the reward. Change makers are risk takers. I hope one day the individuals who spoke against the changes I mention here will eventually grasp the concept and goals necessitating change. It is the change that is helping people; this is the goal, to begin a series of actions which will result in even bigger and more positive actions.
I didn’t ever consider myself a risk-taker. I’m still not sure if it’s a comfortable fit, but I’m willing to try it on now and then to find out if the shoe still fits.
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