Thought Wheel

Ann Chiappetta

Writing to Heal and poetry 📜

| Filed under blogging Poem writing

Being a poet I often write and finish a poem and  shelve it in my mental library. When I pull it out for a poetry reading or some such project, my  reactions are sometimes surprising.

 

I recently dusted off an older poem about my Dad’s death and it got to me. I read it during a Get What You Need and Feel Good About It podcast.  The confusion, brooding tone and questioning feeling the poem elicited was powerful enough to get me all verklempt  and later the same night  resulted in a few dark dreams.

 

The poem’s meaning was meant to convey the frustration and helplessness we experience when losing a loved one. But I wonder if readers appreciate it like I do.

 

The poem, Salutations,  is in my 2020 collection, Words of Life: Poems and Essays. Vincent Lee Gracen narrated it. His performance is haunting and beautifully stark. The intensity of his talented narration evokes the emotions of grief and loss I could not convey and I am grateful he agreed to read it.

 

Salutations

By Ann Chiappetta © 2020

 

Goodbyes were said long ago

Although I couldn’t say why.

A life of 80 years has ended

And with it, the deal making begins

Preceded by melancholy

Preceded by guilt and  denial

And  anger, the funereal umbrella

A Black winged shroud

Flapping and snapping

Refusing to fold.

 

Preceded by watching my father  slowly die

 

A young girl’s fractured attachments

Brought on by divorce

A father’s quiescent avoidance

Built the wall in due course.

 

I know

Sad refrains and death’s bitter dirges

I’ve grieved since  age nine

Of death and dying, what do I really know?

I question

the purity of loss, the sanctity of morning

Because I surely haven’t achieved either

With the solemnity of a widow’s attire

Or baptism by fire

Though I’ve tried.

 

What I know

Flutters  like film strips

Time lapsed, monochrome, and silent.

In this heart and mind

All there is,

feather on stone

Wind on water

Gone.

book cover is a contemplative snapshot of a stack of stones each holding one word of the book’s title. To the right is a concentric pattern drawn in the sand.

 

  • 2013

Click here to listen to Vincent Lee Gracen’s reading of the poem.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/7ytt0doeiqovb8bcklict/04-17-Salutations.mp3?rlkey=pzmlawybwddba918krhpro73p&dl=0

 

 

 

 

 

 

News Flash 🦮 big Yellow Dog Retires

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs pets and people writing

 

Bailey, my second Guiding Eyes dog guide, has hung up the harness. He is now the senior adopted dog of house Chiappetta and for him, at least the change is good. It’s a push and pull of relief and regret for the humans, though. But hey, he’s almost eleven, has bounced back from lung cancer and enjoys napping in the sun in his new back yard.

 

Yellow lab Bailey one year old standing at the shor in Maine

Yellow lab bailey posed with blue skies and clouds in the background.

We met in 2015 and during the second week of class I returned home with a serious case of RSV. A month later, when we reunited, he flew into my lap and nibbled my cheek as if to say, “Finally, we’re together again!”

 

Our first year was exciting and focused. His energy and love of working became infectious. He approached it all with curiosity and confidence. This is his best trait. The most difficult one to control is his scavenging and I hope his successor is not as intense in this category.

 

He is a great swimmer, doesn’t play fetch, drools profusely waiting for his meals and tolerates our cats with quiet dignity. He loves learning new tricks and learned to roll over, spin and  balance a treat on his nose.

 

Amusing quirks:

  • When he barks, which isn’t often, he scares himself.
  • When exiting a vehicle in a new location he needs a moment to scent the air before moving on.
  • Loves to sleep under my desk
  • Expresses impatience by sighing like a person
  • Walks on the tips of his toes and spreads out his toes when excited.
  • Air licks if he can’t get to your face.

 

The most significant saves while working were clearing us from a dangling wire hanging from the ceiling in an office building and a utility wire laying on a sidewalk. Avoiding e-scooters more than once while crossing a street. Plus numerous traffic checks on the block leading to my former office building .

Annie with pink mask and Bailey close up

Ann and Bailey on bench: Both looking straight on

 

Doggone Good

By Ann                                                                             Chiappetta

 

Good dog

Guide dog

Love what you do

Cool dog

Goofy boy

So much respect for you

 

Yellow dog

Poochie-poo

with a big brown nose

 

Steps out,

Nostrils flared

Catching

Air-scented code.

 

Guide dog

Good dog

There’s so much we do

In you

There is acceptance

loyalty

My moods don’t have you fooled

 

Big dog

Bigger heart

Grateful to be a pair

Stepping out

I want to shout

I trust in your care.

 

Good Dog

Guide dog

My heart is full

Love you

To the moon and back.

Glad to be matched with you.

 

 

As with the retirement of my first dog, Verona, I am posting my call for a new canine partner. My needs have changed over the past ten years yet the drive to be independent has become stronger as I age. I am cognizant the next dog will most likely be the last guide dog for me. Here’s to the next potential partnership and adventure.

 

Situation Wanted

A sixty-something white female who just happens to be blind is seeking a highly motivated working dog. If you are a Labrador retriever and are willing to work with me, please read the job requirements. Only serious applicants need apply.

Males preferred but will consider a female if all other character and personality traits are met.

  1. Height: over 20inches; weight: 75 lbs. Color: no preference.
  2. I am a moderate walker, use a support cane and travel in all modes of transportation. This includes paratransit vans and public buses. I also fly at least once a year and ride passenger trains. I stay in hotels and motels. I visit cities and live in the suburbs. I shop and attend social gatherings and meetings.
  3. My new partner must be experienced in offering a kind and gentle nose to other furry critters including cats and guinea pigs and other dogs as well as children. You will be filling the paws of my current partner, who is retired. He has been an amazing worker, friend, and part of our family for over ten years.

If you have read these requirements and feel that you have the right combination of breed, personality, manners, strength, adaptability, affection, drive, and possess intelligent disobedience skills, and wish to work with a human who will trust and love you the best she can, please send your contact information to Ann Chiappetta, Care of: Guiding Eyes for the Blind 611 Granite springs Road, Yorktown Heights, N.Y.

Yello lab Bailey age 10 laying on his side in the grass in our new back yard enjoying his retirement.

 

 

 

Joan is Sweetness

| Filed under blindness Poem writing Writing Life

Readers, one of the best things about writing is making connections. Getting to know other writers and follow them through the creative process is fascinating, too.
One writer I admire is Joan Miles. Visit Joan’s blog and after reading the post, click over to Amazon.com to buy her new book.

https://jewniquelymyself.com/2020/11/09/grateful-for-annie/

Hope and the Job Hunt

| Filed under blindness

Well, folks, it has been 4 months since I separated with the VA and the path has been bumpy. Knowing all about adjustment and how to support others along the journey is not the same as trying to support oneself along the rocky road to success.

It can be very lonely.

This post is one of intention, meaning, I want to state the positive steps taken, accept and move on past the negative experiences and feelings so I can focus and find the best employment opportunity.

I found it effective to visit the local job center, or One Stop located in the Department of Labor and received an objective and valuable assessment of my skills and possible employment avenues. This, along with input from colleagues who are employment specialists, assisted in boosting my confidence and sense of hope. Until then, I was feeling as if I was back in 1997, feeling lost and unable to identify just who I was professionally and how I could earn a living.

Thank goodness the One Stop and wonderfully supportive colleagues grounded me and helped me work on a few employment goals and now I don’t feel so trapped or hopeless.

This is doing something to reach my goals. I am reviewing how to handle tricky interview questions, what to prepare for during the interview, and such things that I haven’t had to consider for over ten years. It is intimidating but not impossible.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been hard at work; attending a few interviews I knew were only conducted to test my long untried skills, among other tasks. I have gained the confidence to handle the interview nerves, but still want those good intentions to float my way for next week. Feel free to send them my way.

New Routines

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs Relationships Writing Life

New Routines

It’s been 3 months since I’ve stopped working. The first month was the hardest, trying to make sense of things, second guessing myself and clinging to what was left of my self-confidence.

Month two was filled with phone calls, meetings and interviews, followed by the realization that at my age and because of my disability, I might not ever work again. I began to tell people I am semi-retired and it is still what I am sticking with as I write this blog post.
Month three is starting to be the new routine: stay up late, sleep late, write, and mix in job trolling, meetings, and motivate myself to do the mundane household tasks. Sigh.

The most interesting pieces of being home, other than the nagging holes of time, is how our animals have adjusted. They appear to like it, especially my 13-year-old lab, Verona, and the cat, Titan. For instance, Verona expects a walk around 2 p.m. It doesn’t matter if she went out at 10 a.m., when 2 p.m. comes around, she’s panting and poking at me.

We have also gotten into what I will call treat-time. Titan and Verona appear at my desk chair. I get poked by the dog and the cat jumps up on the desk. This means the human must dispense treats. A Few Kittie crunchies for the cat and a few low-calorie treats for the dogs. Yes, Bailey is there as soon as he hears the cat treat bag open. Piggy boy. Our third dog, May, is usually with our daughter, so she loses out until later.

At 3-ish, we go for walkies and May and Bailey play after May is walked. The human is bothered again by piggy boy Bailey for dinner at after play time. If the animals weren’t here to keep me busy, it would be much harder to stay focused.

I find it ironic that the day has conformed to what I refer to as Zoo time. Maybe I can find employment at a kennel instead.

How Things Go On Social Media

| Filed under Relationships writing

A few weeks ago, I read something disturbing on my social media feed. Two people who I only know through social media became friends.
I read person one was going to visit person two. I thought, at the time, well, how nice folks can connect and build a meaningful friendship thanks to social media. I clicked off, and thought no more of it until a few days later.

What I read made my heart sink. Person one allegedly stole items from person two while visiting. Person one did not immediately call them out, but eventually it happened. Person two might have attempted to take of this very difficult situation privately, I do not know anything about what happened outside of social media. What I do know is person two rescued their dignity by making an impact statement. Person two did the right thing by telling the story without blame or angry words. Person two took back their power. I want to tell person one to go get help. I want to tell person one that is this is a cry for help, causing another person pain is not the way to go, call the crisis hotline or find a mental health provider, anything would provide a better outcome than to steal from a friend.

Person two, based on this interaction, I decided to unfriend you. It actually felt like I was doing the right thing, standing up for others who are betrayed and victimized by uncaring people. As for the sociological influences this situation and others like it have upon our lives, only time can tell.
What I found interesting was the impact of our virtual neighborhood and how it can protect us or leave us open to those who can cause harm. Our lives play out within the cybersphere just like in our physical lives.

Words Of Life Press Release

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs Poem Relationships Writing Life

For Immediate Release
Contact Ann Chiappetta, author: 914.393.6605 anniecms64@gmail.com
Local Author Celebrates National Poetry Month with New Book Release
April 2, 2019 – New Rochelle, NY
New Rochelle author Ann Chiappetta publishes WORDS OF LIFE: POEMS AND ESSAYS. It is the author’s third independently published and self-promoted book. The collection combines poems, essays, and flash fiction drawing upon life’s vicissitudes, including nature’s beauty and cruelty, the foibles of relationships, the love of family, and the unconditional regard and respect for the author’s guide dogs.
The book is available in e-book format for $3.99 and in paperback for $9.95 from Amazon and multiple other online booksellers. Go to Chiappetta’s author’s page, http://www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta/, for book buying links and to read an excerpt.
Chiappetta’s books were edited and prepared for electronic and print format by DLD Books Editing and Self-Publishing Services: http://www.dldbooks.com/ .
From the Author:
“I loved organizing the poems and essays for this book. I feel it is an autobiographical sketch of my creative life, and the reader gets a peek into who I am and how I feel and think. This collection is especially meaningful to me because I have proven that being blind is no longer a significant barrier to completing a printed book with a beautiful cover and top-notch book preparation, thanks to DLD Books.”
Chiappetta’s book signing dates, planned for later in 2019, will be announced on her website, www.annchiappetta.com. To book Chiappetta as a guest speaker, go to www.annchiappetta.com.
About the Author:
Ann Chiappetta, M.S., is an author and poet. Her writing has been featured in many small press publications and collegiate journals. Ann’s nonfiction essays have been printed in Dialogue magazine, and her poems are often featured in Magnets and Ladders. Her poetry is also included in Breath and Shadow’s 2016 debut anthology, Dozen: The Best of Breath and Shadow. Her first collection, UPWELLING: POEMS (C 2016) and FOLLOW YOUR DOG: A STORY OF LOVE AND TRUST (C 2017), are available in both e-book and print formats from http://www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta/ .
Ann’s blog: www.thought-wheel.com
Ann’s personal website: www.annchiappetta.com
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Listen to New Interview

| Filed under writing

Hello , Branco Events News has published a new article on our website. InPerspective 89 – With Author Ann Chiappetta Talking About Guide Dogs January 26, 2019 edition of “In Perspective” You may view the latest post at https://www.brancoevents.com/in-perspective-89-with-author-ann-chiappetta-talking-about-guide-dogs/