Being a poet I often write and finish a poem and shelve it in my mental library. When I pull it out for a poetry reading or some such project, my reactions are sometimes surprising.
I recently dusted off an older poem about my Dad’s death and it got to me. I read it during a Get What You Need and Feel Good About It podcast. The confusion, brooding tone and questioning feeling the poem elicited was powerful enough to get me all verklempt and later the same night resulted in a few dark dreams.
The poem’s meaning was meant to convey the frustration and helplessness we experience when losing a loved one. But I wonder if readers appreciate it like I do.
The poem, Salutations, is in my 2020 collection, Words of Life: Poems and Essays. Vincent Lee Gracen narrated it. His performance is haunting and beautifully stark. The intensity of his talented narration evokes the emotions of grief and loss I could not convey and I am grateful he agreed to read it.
Salutations
By Ann Chiappetta © 2020
Goodbyes were said long ago
Although I couldn’t say why.
A life of 80 years has ended
And with it, the deal making begins
Preceded by melancholy
Preceded by guilt and denial
And anger, the funereal umbrella
A Black winged shroud
Flapping and snapping
Refusing to fold.
Preceded by watching my father slowly die
A young girl’s fractured attachments
Brought on by divorce
A father’s quiescent avoidance
Built the wall in due course.
I know
Sad refrains and death’s bitter dirges
I’ve grieved since age nine
Of death and dying, what do I really know?
I question
the purity of loss, the sanctity of morning
Because I surely haven’t achieved either
With the solemnity of a widow’s attire
Or baptism by fire
Though I’ve tried.
What I know
Flutters like film strips
Time lapsed, monochrome, and silent.
In this heart and mind
All there is,
feather on stone
Wind on water
Gone.
book cover is a contemplative snapshot of a stack of stones each holding one word of the book’s title. To the right is a concentric pattern drawn in the sand.
- 2013
Click here to listen to Vincent Lee Gracen’s reading of the poem.
