Living with Feeling
Yesterday was a good day. Why, you may ask? Because I felt okay. I didn’t feel sick, overly sad, or numb. These three feelings have persisted since Mom died in July and for the first time in months; I actually felt some iota of peace. How did I achieve this? By packing up and getting the F out of here for the weekend. Jerry, Verona, Bailey boy and I escaped up to the lake and beautiful Orange County for two nights. I left on Friday sick from menopausal symptoms, really bad ones, in fact, but even though they are still there, I used the time to let nurse Jerry to help me recuperate a bit physically and mentally. We didn’t go to Tuxedo to the Renn Fair, but we hung out, sat in the sun, and let the dogs run and play.
This is how I managed to feel better, letting the dogs play, swim, and share being in the moment.
The best part? I was on the grass with Bailey, wrestling with him and the drying towel. He and Verona had been basking in the sun after romping in the lake and I was drying him a bit more. He flopped onto his back, grabbed the towel in his mouth, and proceeded to pop me gently with his paws, wriggling and being very cute. I started to giggle, so he kept being silly. I think this went on for a while but I didn’t care how silly we looked; at that moment, I wanted to tell him that this silly little game was the best medicine, the most natural and gentlest way to heal me. He might know how important that moment was, but, most likely he hasn’t a clue, and that’s okay. I’ll have that moment imprinted in my soul and it will help me get through This thing called the human condition until next time. This, constant reader, is how dogs compliment our lives. Unconditionally.