Hard Decision

I have come to the decision to retire Verona next year. She will be 9 by then and I think she will be ready.  So, unless some other problem presents itself, we will finish up with traveling next July and I will hang up her harness. At least, that’s the plan. I want to do what’s best for her and I think a gentle withdrawal from being my guide is best for both of us. I’ve put in my retraining application. While I still want my guide dog school to visit, evaluate and plan her retirement with me, I know what’s coming. The small signs of stress, her hesitation down stairs, a much slower pace and less stamina are all signs of aging. I don’t want her to work herself into stress-induced illness. We’ll go slowly and when the time is right, it will happen.

I also don’t want to be without a dog for too long or train in the winter if it can be helped. While I am intrepid about the cold, my asthma was very bad last year in the colder temperatures and even the extra meds didn’t help very much. It’s a funny thing, this breathing problem. I am fine when exercising in the gym but when walking outside up hills or in temperatures below 40, I feel it. I will let the instructors know about my new limitations and hope for the best in terms of class dates. I would love a September or October class.

Until then, we will walk around White Plains, travel, and spend time at the lake and with family and friends whenever possible. Verona is a careful and sensitive dog, a great dog for a first timer like me. I can control her with just a command and hand gesture. She is a wonderful guide, her work is excellent, and she steps up to the challenges whenever I need her to, even if they present difficulties. I’ve also learned how to travel more confidently because of her gentle and steady pace.  I can, however, move much faster now and have overcome many of my dog handling foibles. too. I’ve learned even more about dog husbandry and training because of working with a guide dog.  She’s helped me understand what drives the canine mind to strive to please a human partner. The best part is that through Verona, I’ve learned to be a better person.

What do I mean, one might ask. I’ll do my best to try to explain it. Before being matched with a dog guide, there were some behaviors and negative thinking I learned while gradually losing my vision. I would give in to my insecurities and limit myself. I did not venture out at night due to disorientation and night blindness. I avoided places with a lot of steps or challenging architecture because while I was a proficient cane user, I lacked the confidence in myself to believe I could figure things out if lost or stuck.

Don’t get me wrong, I raised my kids, went to graduate school, vacationed and achieved many other things with a white cane. When I was exposed to traveling with a handle in my hand, the sense of freedom was incredible.

It was the change of perception that helped me improve the inner sense of myself as a whole.   I held my head up and didn’t slump my shoulders, I not only looked confident but I felt it deep inside.

This is what I was meant to do, I thought, while on my first solo trip with Verona. All the years of loving and living with my pet dogs has culminated in something much more meaningful.

One surprising thing has happened; I know that the next dog will be faster and pull a bit more. It’s not that I’ve outgrown the sedate and gentle pace and pull, it’s more like transitioning from double to single bladed skates.

For now, though, we’ll continue being a team. Just the other day we came in from getting lunch and I said that I wished I could have someone video us when we traverse an especially troublesome challenge like on that day.

We were going to a familiar intersection and she stopped about ten feet from the corner. I said forward, she didn’t budge. I listened and off to the right, heard construction, sounds of shovels scooping cement, etc. I asked someone if there was construction and a man stopped, saying, yes, they had the whole corner roped off and people were crossing the street from further up. I asked him to show us where we could cross safely and he did. He then told me that the opposite corner was also being blocked and said there was a wooden ramp in place. We crossed and he let me know Verona was indeed targeting the ramp and then we were back onto the sidewalk. I thanked the man and we went to the deli for lunch. On the way back, we did the reverse and that was when I told my coworkers that I wished for a video camera.

I want folks to know how much our dogs do for us in the line of duty. After all this time, it is still amazing to me.

Even so, I just can’t get my mind to accept that another dog will one day be at my side. I’ll have to work on that thought. In any case, below is an ad, if I were to put in my application as a retrain with my guide dog school.

Situation Wanted

A 50 something white female who just happens to be blind is seeking a highly motivated working dog.  If you are a Labrador retriever and are willing to work with me, please read the job requirements. Only serious applicants need apply.

1. Females preferred but will consider a male if all other character and personality traits are met.
2. Height and weight not important as long as you can do the job. Color: no preference.
3. I am a moderate but steady walker, travel in all modes of transportation, usually in taxis, loud, para transit vehicles or public buses. I also fly at least once a year and commute by passenger train twice yearly to other busy, crowded events. I stay in hotels and motels. I visit cities and live in the suburbs and spend summers by the lake. This means my new partner must be versatile and ready for action, depending on my busy schedule.
4. I will require my new partner to be ready to go from the office to new locations with care and attention. My new partner must be able to settle down and quietly observe or ignore other humans during office hours and also be empathetic and willing to offer some comfort therapy to my human clientele if needed. My new partner must be willing to allow kids of all ages to touch and pet them for disability awareness presentations. Applicants with a penchant for the camera is a plus.
5. My new partner must be experienced in offering a kind and gentle nose to other furry critters including cats and guinea pigs and other dogs as well as children.  You will be filling the paws of my current partner, who will be retiring soon. She is an amazing worker, friend, and has been part of this community for many years and is loved by all, human and furry.
6. If you have read these requirements and feel that you have the right combination of breed, personality, manners, strength, adaptability, affection, drive, and possess intelligent disobedience skills, and wish to work with a human who will trust and love you the best she can, please send your contact information to Ann Chiappetta, Care of: Guiding Eyes for the Blind 611 Granite springs Road, Yorktown Heights, N.Y.

Evangelized, Again

I was going to my favorite deli to get a chicken wrap and a man starts walking with me.

He asked if he could speak to me and I said yes, as long as he doesn’t distract my dog while she’s working. He agreed, and then spoke,

“Do you believe in the gift of the Lord?”

Here we go again; the do-gooder wants to heal the blind person. This isn’t the first time an evangelizer has taken it upon themselves to pray over me or on my behalf to call down the Holy Ghost to heal my affliction.  I smiled and we walked down the block together. I figure, if this man has courage enough to walk with a complete stranger and evangelize, then I can go along with it. I didn’t say to him that I believe that all gods are one. That kind of unorthodox thinking can be confusing. I strolled along and just listened to his professions of faith and didn’t feel as if he pitied me. On the contrary, I just went with it.

We recited a prayer, I said a hearty AMEN. Then, he says, “I pray that today you will be healed and your blindness lifted.”

I stopped at the curb, my dog guide doing her job and ignoring him. I touched his arm and said,

“My friend, God gave me something better than my vision; he gave me the ability to see without my eyes.”

He was quiet for a moment, then quickly said goodbye. I was relieved he didn’t say any more about waking up to a miracle and being able to see. Sure, I hope for it each and every day but I sure don’t let it interfere with my life. I am a successful person. I am loved and I show love. I know that my fellow human beings respect my desire to just be me.  My disability is, at times, a barrier. Most of the time, though, it’s just another minor thing to deal with in life. Most folks respect that and work with me to offer help and support.  This man will hopefully remember our encounter and not think of blind folks as  less than, or needing their affliction healed to be whole and loved.

It was a nice day and I was still looking forward to that chicken wrap.

I tapped the edge of the curb with my toe and told Verona, “Forward,”” and we proceeded across the street to the deli.

Now that I am reflecting and writing about this, I realize that I was referring not just to the accumulated personal insight and counseling skills I’ve achieved, along with good fortune and success, but also to Verona, who guided me expertly down that busy block while some stranger strode beside us. God=DOG

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Before I answer what I’m grateful for, I want to describe another dog guide adventure. We set out to get a bite to eat for lunch, an ordinary thing for folks who can see but full of unpredictability for someone with vision loss. Fortunately Verona and I have been working together for almost five years now and we do what I call auto pilot. Whenever we are out on a routine walk, she knows what I want and how to get there from my office. For instance, I say “bank” and she will take us the entire way without me having to direct her.  Door to door service, like a canine limousine.

On this day, though, I changed it up, crossing to the opposite side of our normal route to keep her interest and avoid some of the afternoon foot traffic. We get to the corner and begin crossing the one way street with traffic coming toward us. I listen, hear the traffic begin to merge the other direction, and give the forward command. We are about ten steps into the street when she puts on the brakes and pushes me aside. I praise her, and then feel the pressure of a quiet car drive past. I praise her again, then give the forward command and we take a step, then she again puts on the brakes and I can feel her looking to our left. There must be another car waiting to turn right onto the street. I wait for it to turn in front of us but it doesn’t. Now we are standing in the middle of the street and I feel like we’re at the edge of danger like in the Old West.   Will the car lurch ahead or can we trust that they will allow us to get to the corner?  I count to three, then realize the car is most likely gesturing us to go. The moment I think this, Verona pulls ahead and we are once again safely across the street.

I tell her to turn left and I take a deep breath as we wait to cross the next street. We get lunch, then make it back to work without another traffic check.

Now, back to what I’m grateful for: my dog, my independence, and folks who will read this and learn a little more about what it’s like living with vision loss.

May those who read this have a loving, safe, and content Thanksgiving.

This blog entry is for all the guide dog users. When I first was matched with Verona, my first guide dog, I had some problems using her harness. Once I got the handle swapped out for a longer version, things changed for the better but I still felt that I couldn’t “feel” my dog like other handlers said I should. I soldiered on, accepting that I could work my dog even if she was a soft pull and gentle all around. She kept me safe, that was all that mattered in the big scheme of things.

Then, a friend from another guide dog school let me examine her harness, which was made from lightweight leather and an aluminum handle with a button release that was much easier for those times when the handle needed to be taken off. My harness was klunky in comparison. I admitted it then, I had a hard case of harness envy.

A few years later, my school announced they were redesigning the harness, incorporating the lightweight  quick release clips and floating handle , similar to the harness from the other school while still keeping in mind the classic elements of high quality bridle leather and solid metal hardware that withstood the test of time and the elements.

I hoped and prayed that I would one day get this into my hot little hands and onto my dog’s back and finally benefit from a more sensitive piece of equipment. I didn’t have long to wait and wasn’t disappointed. In fact, I am very impressed.

The new harness is slimmer, lighter, and gives the handler more sensory information. I can now feel my dog’s gait, shoulder movement, and pace. She leads out more confidently and I feel her move in ways I never did with the other, heavier and less intuitive harness.  When my dog shifts or changes elevation for a dipping sidewalk or a ramp, I feel it.  Also, the handle floats so  my dog doesn’t require additional hardware to keep the handle off her back, an issue she has from a sensitive rump, what the instructors called cushy tushy syndrome. The new harness is also much lighter and   the back and shoulder strap isn’t as thick  as the old harness so it doesn’t weigh down my dog. She is a female lab and only weighs 60 pounds so I lighter, slimmer design really helps her work better for longer periods  of time. It means less physical stress on her back and shoulders which could help her work better and longer and reduce discomfort.

I am very happy with my new harness and thank my school, guiding Eyes for the Blind,  for taking the concerns of our students to heart and maiking improvements for those of us who felt it was time to do it.